Fifty Shades of Grey was the literary hit of 2012 that hit the big screen in 2015 and continues to thrill housewives under 50, not to mention journalists wanting to put their own twist on the eponymous title. The first book in this erotic BDSM-lite trilogy is an endless source of inspiration, so we couldn't resist (it was too tempting!) drawing a parallel between the candidate-recruiter relationship and that between Anastasia Steele, a young senior majoring in English Literature, and the businessman Christian Grey. Ready to enter the dark world of recruitment (in a few shades)? Then come this way...

 

DRESS SIMPLY AND ELEGANTLY

Like our heroine, you turn up to the interview hair everywhere, trying to tuck a stray strand behind your ear, decked out in a pea jacket, brown knee-length boots and a blue cardie. You can do better. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been told ‘dress the same as the interviewer’. First of all, this advice is completely stupid – how on earth can you know how your interviewer will be dressed?! Secondly, ignore it – it’s very bad advice. Wear one of your best outfits – one that makes you feel at ease. No exceptions. End of story. If in doubt, steer clear of the fantasy stuff and keep it chic, classy and simple. And for pity’s sake, the classic suit is pretty much a thing of the past. Relegate yours to the back of the wardrobe or donate it to a charity shop.

RESEARCH THE COMPANY ENVIRONMENT

Don’t look a fool like our Miss Steele (who clearly hadn’t looked online or read the magazines) – check the company out before your interview. Is it at the head office of a multinational in a 20-storey tower of glass and steel? Or is it with an SME based on an industrial estate? In a word, think ahead! Don’t risk turning up and finding that the security guards are smarter than you in their black suits…

AVOID GAFFES

Tripping over your own feet and falling head first into your interviewer’s office with a ‘double crap’ is all very well in a novel, but not in the real-life world of recruitment. Those first few minutes are decisive and the very first seconds will set the tone for the rest of the interview. KEEP CALM and KEEP your head up! Hopefully you won’t ever find yourself in that situation… Good luck!

DON’T LOOK DEEP INTO YOUR INTERVIEWER’S GREY EYES (HOWEVER HANDSOME HE MAY BE)

Let’s face it. Coming face to face with a recruiter who’s young – and attractive, very attractive, with unruly dark copper coloured hair and intense, bright grey eyes that regard you shrewdly doesn’t happen every day. Our first piece of advice: don’t hesitate (like our shy young heroine) – find your voice. Our second tip: if you do find yourself in the presence of the eighth wonder of the world, just look him straight in the eye (without batting an eyelid, because you’re accustomed to beauty), smile and say ‘I’ve been looking forward to meeting you’.

COME TO YOUR INTERVIEW PREPARED

It’s good of you to agree to stand in for your best friend at the last minute to interview a billionaire businessman, but unless you’re an excellent actress, passing yourself off as someone else can prove tricky. Why? Because asking questions that you didn’t write is risky. Knowing about the company you’re interviewing for is just the beginning – recruiters expect you to be as enthusiastic about it as they doubtless are. Read everything on the company’s website carefully. Don’t waste their time asking questions you should already know the answer to.

GET YOUR NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION RIGHT

Don’t bite your lip every time the interviewer (GQ magazine’s sexiest man) opens his mouth – stay in control! Sixty percent of all communication is non-verbal. The science behind non-verbal communication during interviews has been the topic of widespread debate, I grant you. What your body language reveals about you can make all the difference at interview. A trained professional will know what signs to look out for. Your interviewer will almost certainly not be a seasoned professional, although many believe themselves capable of interpreting body language. We all know that interviews can make people nervous, and this is true on both sides of the desk (remember that your interviewer only has an hour or two to decide whether he wants to see you again). Interviews can be a stressful experience for both of you. But don’t bite your lip. Period.

DON’T FALL INTO THE DOMINANT-SUBMISSIVE TRAP

Don’t start out by viewing the relationship in these terms. Stay relaxed. The things an employer wants to find out about are your personality, successes, relevant achievements, motivation, initiative and communication skills. Nothing more, nothing less. So if the interview ends with a ‘See you soon’, don’t see it as a challenge or a threat.

NEGOTIATE WITH THE PERSON MAKING THE FINAL DECISION AND COME OUT ON TOP

As with any happy ending, in recruitment a contract is drawn up to define the rules of the game (we’re talking about work). Negotiations at the recruitment stage, unlike normal business deals, are all about building a relationship and the agreement that results is intended to last a long time. Banging your fist on the table may be a good tactic when buying a car as you won’t ever see the salesman again, but when negotiating a salary, bear in mind that you’ll have to see the company negotiator every morning at the coffee machine.
This is why you need to be firm and carefully check every bit of the contract, from the start date and employment period to your respective roles, your availability and your contribution to the company. As an example, you could adopt the same tone that our dear Anastasia uses with Christian Grey. ‘Dear Mr. Grey, here is my list of issues. I look forward to discussing them more fully at dinner on Wednesday.’
To wrap up: ‘The worst thing you can possibly do in a deal is seem desperate to make it. That makes the other guy smell blood, and then you’re dead.’ Donald J. Trump

ONCE YOU’VE GOT THE JOB, DON’T GO TO PIECES IN FRONT OF YOUR EMPLOYER

Unlike our heroine, who spends most of her time swallowing as soon as she sees the object of her desire, there’s no way you’re going to pieces or going braindead in the presence of your employer, however attractive he may be. Keep your saliva where it belongs.

How about you? Do you have any shades of recruitment to share with us?